The old man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender serves his beer and then asks him, “So what do you do?” The old man replies, “Well, sir, I’m a cowboy.” “Wow,” said the bartender, “what exactly does a cowboy do?” “Well, sir, I work on a ranch all day, … Read more
A man walks into a bar and quickly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots. The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.” The bartender looks a little surprised but lines up 12 more shots. … Read more
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. “Can you tell me what kind it is?” she asked. “Can you describe it?” I asked. “Yes,” she said. “It’s long and thin.” Wife was trying to train a dog. Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey … Read more
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day……. An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her” The lord answered. “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her” She must function in all kinds of situations, She must be able to embrace … Read more
When a father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas. The boy replied. “A baby sister.” As it turned out, the wife was pregnant and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day she brought home a brand new baby sister for their son. The next year, when the father asked his little boy … Read more
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, “How was I born?” ‘Well, honey…’ said the slightly prudish parent, “An Angel brought you to us.” “Oh,” said the boy. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the angel brought us too.” “Well how were grandpa and grandma … Read more
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn … Read more
An old farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money. “Oh, I reckon the first thing do is go and pay a few bills.” “And what about the rest?” the reporter continued. The farmer shrugs. “Well, I guess they’ll … Read more
A Texan farmer is on vacation in Australia. There he meets an Australian farmer and talks. The Australian shows off his large wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch for a bit and the Australian shows off his … Read more
A guy steps into an elevator and there’s just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her melons. He says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your melons, I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.” … Read more