My 7-year-old son came in from school today and asked me, “Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?” “Erm, I don’t know”, I replied. “Mickey Mouse,” he replied laughing. “Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs?” “Donald Duck”, I replied. “No, all ducks you idiot.” LOL!! A Dad Asked … Read more
I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding. Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera … Read more
An angry woman with two kids enters Walmart, shouting angrily at the children and at anyone who crosses her path. The greeter at the reception says cheerfully to her: “Good morning and welcome to Walmart.” “Shut the F up.” Grunts the woman. Unperturbed, he says: “Cute kids! Are they twins?” The horrible woman stopped shouting … Read more
3 guys go in for a job interview. The first guy goes in, and the best job interview he’s ever done in his life. The interview ends, the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?” “Yeah,” the guy says… “You don’t have any EARS, man!” “I’m sorry,” says the interviewer, … Read more
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, “Are you a smoker?” “Not even a little,” said the young man. “How about alcoholic beverages?” “Never touch ’em,” he replied. The boss smiled and asked, “So you spend a lot of time with girls?” The applicant said, “No, not … Read more
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class, was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him … Read more
Two old ladies Dolly and Ruby were talking about their grandchildren. Dolly said, “Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous chequeinside. I never hear from them… never receive a thank you message.” Ruby replies, “I too send my you message. Ruby replies, “I too send my grandchildren a very … Read more
There lived a woman in a peaceful suburban neighbourhood who was dealing with an uncommon situation. Her husband was prone to losing his cool under any circumstance, which sometimes led to intense arguments that left them both worn out and anxious. She could not stand to watch as these frequent outbursts harmed their relationship. She … Read more
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She … Read more
My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, …wearing only The t-shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, … Read more