An American walks into an Irish bar and orders a drink. He asks the guests, “I will bet $1000 that none of you can drink 10 pints of Guinness in 10 minutes.” People raise their heads but ignore the absurd bet and go back to drinking and having fun, except for an Irishman who leaves … Read more
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help. ”There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the … Read more
An old lady entered a crowded bus. I was on a very crowded bus and an old woman with a walker gets on. All the other passengers proceed to file on and take up the remaining standing places but she stands close to me, staring me in the eyes. After 5 minutes of this, I … Read more
The old lady is in the supermarket and starts throwing the frozen veggies on the floor, so the manager asks if he can help. “I’m looking for Broccoli.” He informs her that they are out of stock, and she leaves. An hour later she is back throwing the frozen veggies onto the floor, the irate … Read more
A blonde wanted a fancy way of spending her weekend and decided a weekend spent on a farm in another state was the best idea. On getting to the farm, she saw something that caught her attention. She saw a cow without horns and found it fascinating. Confused, she asked the farmer standing next to … Read more
A father and son were talking about the son’s failed maths test. “Why did you fail your mathematics test?” the father asked. The son answered, “On Monday, the teacher said 3+5=8.” “So?” The son said, “On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8, and on Wednesday she said 6+2=8. If she can’t make up her mind, how do … Read more
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy obliges and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving the truck full … Read more
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, “Are you a smoker?” “Not even a little,” said the young man. “How about alcoholic beverages?” “Never touch ’em,” he replied. The boss smiled and asked, “So you spend a lot of time with girls?” The applicant said, “No, not … Read more
After an interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, how about a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical … Read more
A Texan farmer is on vacation in Australia. There he meets an Australian farmer and talks. The Australian shows off his large wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch for a bit and the Australian shows off his … Read more