Dolly wanted a new living room set but her husband kept saying. “No.” Every day she would ask him to please let her have the set. Every day he would say. “No.” One day he decided to end this discussion once and for all. When Dolly asked, he looked at her and said. “You can … Read more
A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he gets it home, the rooster fucks all the farmer’s 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the rooster screws all 150 hens again. The next day, the rooster fucks the ducks and the geese. Sadly, later that day, the farmer finds the rooster laying … Read more
Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: “Your b*tt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue. ” With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then … Read more
Papa Bear and Mama Bear are getting a divorce You know Goldilocks and the 3 bears? Well mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. In court they bring in baby bear. The judge puts baby bear on the stand and asks him who he’d like to live with? “Well not papa bear he … Read more
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes. The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the … Read more
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who did a great job at serving everyone drinks and food. He ensured everyone was having an enjoyable flight, and I saw no complaints. As the plane prepared to descend, he walked down the aisle and relayed directions from the captain of the plane. … Read more
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and … Read more
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to … Read more
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today…” The bartender says, “Well since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, … Read more
One day he arrives home looking downcast “That’s it,” he tells his wife “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.” His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take … Read more