A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to an old priest: The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the … Read more
A newly married couple are in bed, when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s fine. How many men have you slept with?” His wife, still in total silence, just stares at the ceiling. The … Read more
A cowboy rode into a windy, dusty, tumble weed strewn Nevada town, reined up outside the saloon, went in and ordered a double bourbon. The saloon was full of locals But what this cowboy did not know was that this town was a haven for thieves and rouges. Having finished his drink he exited only … Read more
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you” She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. … Read more
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. They we’re celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.” … Read more
A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then … Read more
Donna arrived home from work early one day and found her husband, Glen, in bed with another woman. “That’s it!” she shouted, “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back!” “Wait honey,” Glen pleaded, “Can’t you at least let me explain?” “Fine, let’s hear your story,” Donna replied. “Well, I was driving home when I saw … Read more
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the … Read more
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, … Read more
An atheist was walking through the woods. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he … Read more