My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed. “He’s my old boyfriend.” I understand he took to drinking right after … Read more
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO… I PRAY FOR A … Read more
A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed, puffing and panting. “What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I… um… I think I’m having a heart attack!” “Oh,” cries the gullible husband, “quick, I’ll call an ambulance!” He runs downstairs, picks … Read more
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. An undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.” The man thought about it for a while and … Read more
Little Johnny, 6 years old, gets home from school. He had his first family planning lesson at school. His mother, is very interested & she asks “…How did it go?” “I died of shame”…he answers! Annie from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at … Read more
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes … Read more
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken … Read more
Funny Puns You Can’t Wait To Use 1. How do you throw a space party? You planet. 2. How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars. 3. Nope. Unintended. 4. The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower. 5. A scarecrow says, “This job … Read more
A Group Of Kindergarteners Were Trying To Become Accustomed To The First Grade The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, … Read more
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, … made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,… and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 … Read more