{"id":28170,"date":"2023-12-31T20:32:31","date_gmt":"2023-12-31T20:32:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=28170"},"modified":"2023-12-31T20:32:31","modified_gmt":"2023-12-31T20:32:31","slug":"what-kind-it-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=28170","title":{"rendered":"What Kind It Is."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"63d509947b33dea96ed9a09b2482b63d\" data-index=\"1\" style=\"float: none; margin:10px 0 10px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1554417\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<\/div>\n<h2>A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard.<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cCan you tell me what kind it is?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCan you describe it?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s long and thin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-28171 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oS8y99XZ.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oS8y99XZ.jpg 400w, https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oS8y99XZ-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/oS8y99XZ-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Wife was trying to train a dog.<\/h2>\n<p>Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you.<\/p>\n<p>Wife: Darling it\u2019s only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with you in the beginning!<\/p>\n<h2>There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this:<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cHelp me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me. Can you please help me and send the fire squad right away?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTake it easy! Cats don\u2019t hurt us. Just relax and wait until it leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t understand it is going to bite me; it is going to be fatal!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCats aren\u2019t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous. By the way, who is calling?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019m Josephine\u2019s parrot, you idiot! Help me please, help!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.<\/h2>\n<p>They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. \u2018Well,\u2019 said the first one, \u2018I bought mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I\u2019ve beaten you both,\u2019 said the third. \u2018I bought her a miraculous parrot that can talk to her.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Gerald, the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, and I have to clean the entire house. Milton, the car is useless because I don\u2019t go anywhere; I\u2019m too old. But Robert, you know exactly what I like.<strong>\u00a0The chicken was delicious.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. \u201cCan you tell me what kind it is?\u201d she asked. \u201cCan you describe it?\u201d I asked. \u201cYes,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s long and thin.\u201d Wife was trying to train a dog. Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey &#8230; <a title=\"What Kind It Is.\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=28170\" aria-label=\"Read more about What Kind It Is.\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":28172,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-joke"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28170","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28170"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28170\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28173,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28170\/revisions\/28173"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/28172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}