{"id":27623,"date":"2023-05-13T22:27:37","date_gmt":"2023-05-13T22:27:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27623"},"modified":"2023-05-13T22:27:37","modified_gmt":"2023-05-13T22:27:37","slug":"garth-and-his-wife-sadie-are-having-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27623","title":{"rendered":"Garth and his wife Sadie are having dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"63d509947b33dea96ed9a09b2482b63d\" data-index=\"1\" style=\"float: none; margin:10px 0 10px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1554417\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<\/div>\n<p>Garth and his wife Sadie are having dinner at an upmarket restaurant in Melbourne, when an attractive young redhead walks by, smiles at Garth and says, \u201cHello Garth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sadie immediately asks, \u201cAnd who was that girl who just spoke to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Garth replies, \u201cOh her, that\u2019s my girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have a mistress? I don\u2019t believe you. How long has this been going on?\u201d says Sadie.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAbout ten years, on and off.\u201d answers Garth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTen years?\u201d, says Sadie. \u201cYou swine! I\u2019ll see a solicitor tomorrow and start divorce proceedings. I\u2019ll ruin you, you wait and see.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNow hold on Sadie,\u201d responds Garth, \u201cjust think about it for a minute. If we get a divorce, you will only get only half of what we have together now.<\/p>\n<p>You won\u2019t have our big house in Homestead, you\u2019ll no longer get a new Lexus as your birthday present from me each year, you won\u2019t be able to play golf all day with your friends, you won\u2019t \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But before Garth can continue, a blonde walks past and says to him, \u201cHello, nice to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sadie asks, \u201cAnd who was that, another of your \u2018girls\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Garth replies, \u201cNo, that\u2019s Harry\u2019s mistress.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You mean that Harry also has a mistress?\u201d says Sadie, surprised.<br \/>\nGarth answers, \u201cOf course, she\u2019s been with him for nearly twelve years.\u201d<br \/>\nSadie then says, proudly, \u201cI like ours a lot better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;Farmer Joe had a nagging wife&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>Farmer Joe had a nagging wife who made his life miserable.<br \/>\nThe only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.<br \/>\nOne day when he was out in the field, Joe\u2019s wife brought his lunch to him.<\/p>\n<p>Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, Joe\u2019s old mule kicked up his back legs, striking her in the head, and killing her instantly.<\/p>\n<p>At the wake, Joe\u2019s minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to Joe he would nod his head up and down.<\/p>\n<p>But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.<\/p>\n<p>When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Joe and asked \u201cWhy was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell,\u201d Joe replied, \u201cThe women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, \u201cIs that mule for sale?\u201d<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Garth and his wife Sadie are having dinner at an upmarket restaurant in Melbourne, when an attractive young redhead walks by, smiles at Garth and says, \u201cHello Garth.\u201d Sadie immediately asks, \u201cAnd who was that girl who just spoke to you?\u201d Garth replies, \u201cOh her, that\u2019s my girlfriend.\u201d \u201cYou have a mistress? I don\u2019t believe &#8230; <a title=\"Garth and his wife Sadie are having dinner\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27623\" aria-label=\"Read more about Garth and his wife Sadie are having dinner\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":27624,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-joke"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27623"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27625,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27623\/revisions\/27625"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}