{"id":27498,"date":"2023-04-22T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-22T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27498"},"modified":"2023-04-22T14:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-04-22T14:00:00","slug":"ted-and-his-wife-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27498","title":{"rendered":"Ted And His Wife \u2013 Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"63d509947b33dea96ed9a09b2482b63d\" data-index=\"1\" style=\"float: none; margin:10px 0 10px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1554417\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<\/div>\n<p>Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour b*tt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.<\/p>\n<p>\u201d With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife\u2019s b0ttom.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, I was right, your b*tt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!!<\/p>\n<p>\u201d The wife chooses to ignore her husband.<\/p>\n<p>Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky.<\/p>\n<p>He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n<p>She answers,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you really think I\u2019m going to fire up this big-a$s grill for one little ween!e?<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: \u201cYour b*tt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue. \u201d With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then &#8230; <a title=\"Ted And His Wife \u2013 Joke\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27498\" aria-label=\"Read more about Ted And His Wife \u2013 Joke\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":27499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-joke"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27498"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27498\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27501,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27498\/revisions\/27501"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}