{"id":27478,"date":"2023-04-08T16:31:28","date_gmt":"2023-04-08T16:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27478"},"modified":"2023-04-08T16:31:43","modified_gmt":"2023-04-08T16:31:43","slug":"one-easter-sunday-a-man-goes-to-church-and-returns-home-with-two-black-eyes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27478","title":{"rendered":"One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"63d509947b33dea96ed9a09b2482b63d\" data-index=\"1\" style=\"float: none; margin:10px 0 10px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1554417\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<\/div>\n<h4 class=\"_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM\">His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.<\/h4>\n<h4 class=\"_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM\">The man goes on to say, \u201ca lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out.<\/h4>\n<h4 class=\"_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM\">She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.\u201d<\/h4>\n<h4 class=\"_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM\">\u201cThat explains one black eye,\u201d the wife says, \u201cbut what about the other?\u201d<\/h4>\n<h4 class=\"_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM\">The man explains, \u201cI figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there\u201d<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-27480 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/One-Easter-Sunday-a-man-goes-to-church-and-returns-home-with-two-black-eyes.-2-300x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/One-Easter-Sunday-a-man-goes-to-church-and-returns-home-with-two-black-eyes.-2-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/One-Easter-Sunday-a-man-goes-to-church-and-returns-home-with-two-black-eyes.-2-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes. The man goes on to say, \u201ca lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the &#8230; <a title=\"One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/?p=27478\" aria-label=\"Read more about One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":27479,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-joke"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27478"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27481,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27478\/revisions\/27481"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27479"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrhealthyalternative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}